Leave Out All The Rest
by RuneOak
Summary: Arthur tells Merlin that it is okay to share. Shy!Merlin, Jock!Arthur. Modern!AU University.
1. Leave Out All The Rest

**A/N:** I need to stop naming my fics after Linkin Park songs. No, seriously. This is un-betaed. Posting it nevertheless. I probably will come back later and clean it up. I need a beta -_- Help?

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**Leave Out All The Rest**

"…and then Gwaine, being Gwaine, went up to her and said something cheesy like "How you doin'" and of course, he's no Joey Tribbiani, so I expected him to at the least have a drink thrown in his face…"

Merlin smiled, and then realized that Arthur couldn't see him over the phone. He chuckled a little. He never knew how much Arthur expected him to respond when he was on a roll like this. Arthur did not seem to notice either way most of the time.

"…by the end of the night he was pissed drunk and passed out in her lap. What a disaster. Percy was heartbroken, although he'd never admit it of course. I really think he should say something though. What do you think?"

Merlin swallowed the mouthful of food he had just taken, not having expected to be asked to respond. He cleared his throat, partly because he needed a moment to remember who Percy was again. Arthur's new friends always got mixed up in his head.

"I guess, yeah," he said tentatively, feeling a little weird giving opinions on the love life of people he had never met in his life. He had known Arthur for years, having been part of the same group of friends at school, but they had decided to go to different universities now. Merlin wasn't even sure why Arthur called to talk to him so many times although he suspected that he had somehow given out the vibe that he was willing to be Arthur's live journal.

Granted, he himself did not have much of a life, being the nerd he was, although his online friends were quite enough for him, and there was always that guy, Will, who had taken up the role of being Merlin's guide to the lifestyle of Cardiff. Arthur's life was a whole lot entertaining, though, and Merlin did not mind acting as his soundboard as much as it perplexed him. He decided not to dwell on it all that much. Arthur had sent him a bunch of books for his last birthday after Merlin had mentioned the lack of stock at the local bookstore in passing. And he did ask "So what's new with you?" whenever he called. Merlin always changed the topic quickly after that, to cover up exactly how dull his life was in comparison to his friend's.

"...listening to me?"

Oh. Right. Merlin winced a little. He had spaced out.

"Yeah, sorry, didn't catch that last bit. I was… my roommate wanted something."

"Oh okay, I was just saying that I'm planning against trying out for the footie team. They've got a good team; it's going to be pretty tough though. Maybe I'll try next year."

And it was moments like these that confused Merlin.

"Arthur, are you serious? You're brilliant…"

…at everything, at life…

"…plus, you'll never know unless you even try…"

…you'll probably get more worthy friends, but I can't think about that right now…

"…and if you do try out next year, you're going to work hard right? Maybe getting rejected this year will provide motivation for that. Think about the possibilities of a Cinderella story on the footie field…"

…because I know how much you love drama, not because I think you're girly. Oh God, please let him not think that I'm making fun of him…

But Merlin needn't have worried. Arthur was laughing already.

"Alright, alright, I'm sold," he was saying. "I'll go to the tryouts."

"Good! You'll be brilliant, Arthur." Because you always are, and I am lucky to even know you.

"Thanks, Merls," Arthur said, his voice going soft, and Merlin was preparing himself to end the conversation there, because of course Arthur was tired – why else would his voice go all soft like that.

"So, what's going on with you?"

Merlin froze for a millisecond. He almost never expects these, although he should. Arthur's been pretty good at showing that he's willing to listen. Merlin just didn't know what to say to match up to Arthur.

"Me? Heh heh, same old. College, assignments, we have a midterm coming up," he said, hurrying to brush everything under the carpet. "Nowhere close to as exciting as London, you know? Um, hey when are your midterms due?"

Arthur was usually willing to let it go at this point, but today he sighed instead.

"Sometimes I wish I could be so private about my life, you know? You have it all figured out, you don't need someone to talk to all the time like I do. How do you do it?"

Merlin was stunned. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Unfortunately, Arthur was not done yet.

"I feel like such a child sometimes. You always give me such good advice and encourage me. I wish I could give some of it back, you know? I owe you so much—"

"Arthur, I—" Merlin could not listen to him anymore. He had never thought about it that way.

Trust was a two way street anyway. He took a breath.

"I… there's this project that I'm working on," he began, feeling weird because he hadn't actually imagined Arthur would want to listen to his pathetic problems. But Arthur was silent for once, which meant that he was listening, waiting for Merlin to speak.

"Erm, so, yeah it actually started out as a 2-person project but halfway through my partner dropped out. And then, umm, I finished it anyway, but umm, my project guide asked me to submit the report as my own even though… Arthur?"

"I'm here," came the reply, and Merlin sighed in relief. "You're guilty that your partner is not getting any credit?"

"Umm, yeah. It's… it's not a big deal, I mean my partner never actually asked for any of the credit but, you know…"

"Merlin," Arthur interrupted his babbling. Merlin expected him to say how boring his problems were, or at least make up an excuse to hang up.

"How much of the project would you say was your partner's work?" he asked instead.

"I… Um," Merlin stumbled, blindsided by the fact that Arthur was actually thinking about it. "Erm, she did some of the research at the beginning, um, so that helped me in creating the algorithm. Yeah."

"Oh come on, you did all the actual work then! These things happen, Merlin. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah," Merlin replied, unable to come up with a single other coherent response.

"You softie," Arthur teased, a smile in his voice. Merlin didn't mind. It was probably true anyway.

"Yeah," he said again, this time his voice a little more sure.

"See? And if you really feel all that bad, just talk to your guide. They've seen all kinds of project-related scenarios over the years, I bet."

That was actually good advice. He hadn't really expected it. Merlin had just blurted out the first thing that had come to his mind.

"Um, thanks Arthur," he said, smile back on his face.

"Anything else eating you up?"

"Can't think of anything right now," Merlin lied, because old habits die hard. But he was already listing out what he could talk to Arthur the next time. Luckily, Arthur did not push too hard and hung up soon after.

And Merlin went to bed feeling lighter than he had in quite a while.


	2. One Step Closer

He did not really know why he was even doing this, but perhaps he did too. Either way, before he knew it, he had finished dialing and the phone on the other end was ringing.

He did this very rarely. It was still Arthur who usually called. It had become a thing with them over the past few months. Arthur had jokingly referred to their phone call times as their "midnight specials", since they usually took place late in the night when their university-related bustle had died down.

"You have reached the automated voicemail of.." Merlin pressed down the red end-call button and threw his phone down on the bed. He let out a sigh and threw himself down beside the phone, burying his face into the pillows. All the doors seemed to have closed on him that day, and he felt bleak, meaningless, frustrated. He was considering the merits of screaming it out to the world, even though it was probably going to bring his flat mate running to his room which was the last thing he wanted just then, when the phone beside him began to vibrate in earnest.

Though he himself had tried calling Arthur mere moments ago, he still hesitated before accepting the call. He was seriously pissed off, and he did know if he wanted to talk about it. But he really needed to hear his friend's bright voice right then, so he took a deep breath and put his phone to his ear.

"Fucking finally," Arthur said, without waiting for Merlin to speak. "I thought you had gone to take a leak like I was doing just now."

Usually Merlin would have quipped back with something like "Too much info, mate," but he was just relieved that Arthur had called back.

"Sorry," he managed to get out, and then he realized that it was too late anyway, because now Arthur was thinking. He could tell when that happens now, even though he could not see Arthur's frown-y thinking face.

And sure enough, Arthur had picked up on his mood from a single word. That happens now too. Although Arthur does not pick up on it every time - that would be freaky - Arthur did make an effort, and he was getting better every time. Merlin heaved a sigh in relief that this was one such time.

"What happened?" Arthur asked, concern creeping slowly into his voice.

"Arthur just. Could you just… talk?"

Arthur was silent for one long second, and Merlin was afraid he would ask what had happened, but the second passed and when Arthur replied, it was with his usual prattle about his friends and his day, and Merlin clung on to his phone like a lifeline, taking it in like a man dying of thirst.

For reasons he could not explain even to himself, this routine of theirs was therapy to him after a bad day. He just let Arthur babble about meaningless stuff, and found his mind settling down from the turmoil it had been in when he had first dialed Arthur's number.

"…and Gwaine told me that he is thinking of shifting majors. Again. Apparently he is now quite taken with the idea of becoming a lawyer. I mean, can you even imagine Gwaine in a courtroom? I think it would be downright hilarious…"

Before he knew it, Merlin's breathing had calmed down to normal, and he was even smiling at a few places. He made all the right noises at the right places - he didn't want Arthur to get bored. Arthur had chattered on for a good twenty minutes before he took a pause. Merlin was feeling a lot better now, thanks to Arthur, and he surprised himself and probably Arthur too when he actually said that aloud.

He waited for Arthur to make fun of him for being a sap, but Arthur only chuckled a little.

"I'm glad I could help," he replied, sounding genuinely happy about it. Merlin smiled to himself again.

"So," Arthur said after a pause, "are we talking about it or are we going into denial mode?"

Merlin's smile faded. He was in a fix, because he had sworn he was going to start talking to Arthur about his stuff. He definitely shared more now than he used to in the beginning, but this wasn't natural to him. And talking about it was only going to spoil his slightly improved mood again. On the other hand, he almost lived for these conversations with Arthur. He definitely did not want Arthur to stop.

"Merlin?" Arthur prompted when Merlin hadn't replied.

Merlin decided on being honest, because Arthur deserved that. If that brings their midnight specials to a stop, then that as what Merlin was probably destined for anyway.

"Er, denial mode please?" he asked tentatively, holding his breath for Arthur's response.

"Denial mode it is," Arthur said easily, and Merlin breathed again. He was surprised how readily Arthur accepted it. He was just starting to question his luck, when Arthur spoke again.

"But you need to promise me something, Merlin," he said. 'Oh. Here it comes,' Merlin thought. 'The other shoe is about to fall.'

"Yeah?"

"You'll call me the minute you need someone to listen to you. Promise?"

Merlin's breath caught in his throat and there was a strange burning in his eyes, as the word came out sounding strangled.

"Promise."

Notes:

Dedicated to my 4 a.m. friends :*

I have decided to give in and steal all my titles from LP songs. 15 year old me is celebrating this decision.

Also, Lord of the Muses, please let the Merthur happen in this verse! I need it more than the boys themselves.

Posted originally on AO3.


	3. Breaking The Habit

**A/N:** I'm sorry this is so short and it is sort of at a cliffhanger, but there will be one more chapter very soon, and it will be the final chapter, and I am writing it right now!

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Chapter 3: Breaking The Habit

"You're not going home for the holidays?"

"Why would I do that, Merlin? There's no way I can party as hard in Ealdor as I can in London! Do you know me at all?"

Merlin chuckled at the enthusiasm Arthur was showing. If he was being honest, partying and drinking had never been Merlin's thing. He tended to mostly avoid them, preferring to stay home with a book or his computer games instead.

Arthur had made them sound like fun, though. Exciting. A different lifestyle altogether that made Merlin curious and eager to experience through Arthur's eyes.

"And you? Are you going home to your mother?" Arthur asked, cutting into Merlin's thoughts.

"Oh. I, um, dunno. I'm not going back to Ealdor but, um, my uncle lives in London so I was thinking of visiting him for Christmas—"

"Whaaat?! You're coming to London and you didn't tell me? You've _got_ to come party with us!"

And just like that, Merlin was in a dilemma he was hoping to avoid.

Of course, he wanted to meet up with Arthur, who had become his best friend over the past few months. Arthur's life fascinated him. But it also sounded like a dream. A dream which probably should remain a dream, because Merlin had always been taught to remain grounded and even merely dreaming of flying too high scared him.

Besides, Arthur already had a flock of cool friends. Why would they even want a stranger amongst them, especially when that stranger was boring old Merlin. He would probably just cramp their style.

"_Mer-_lin," Arthur called over the phone when Merlin had failed to respond. "I can hear you thinking too loud."

"Arthur, I wouldn't want to disturb –"

"Nonsense, Merlin. You wouldn't be disturbing anything – it's the holidays! Gwaine won't mind if you stay with us! I'll borrow Leon's sleeping bag, or we'll just do the head to toe thing on my bed. Alright, it's decided," Arthur said before Merlin could get a word in, "You will say hello to your uncle for a couple of days and then you're coming here. We shall par-tay!"

Merlin shook his head, because for some odd reason his brain had short-circuited at the "on my bed" comment. It all sounded good. Too good. So good, that it had to be a trick of the fates. Things can't be falling into place that pleasantly – that did not happen to Merlin. Which is why, instead of being wary like he usually was and thinking about it too much, Merlin agreed.

After that it was all counting down the days. He got butterflies in his stomach every time he thought about the holidays, so much so that he had to struggle to get his head straight long enough to concentrate on his finals. He got a call from Arthur on his first night after his last exam, and they made up many excited plans about everything they were going to see in London and how many pubs they were going to hit on New Year's Eve and where they should ring in the New Year. Merlin couldn't help but giggle at Arthur's zeal. When he finally pulled the phone away from his ear, it was well past midnight and he was just about to throw his phone aside and get into bed when he noticed a new unread message.

It was from his mother, and it asked him to call as soon as he woke up the next morning. An ominous feeling started to settle in Merlin's stomach, and it was with some difficulty that he went to bed that night.


	4. Somewhere I Belong

"…so I need to go back to Ealdor. I'm sorry Arthur," Merlin said, sincerely. He was on the bus to Ealdor already. After receiving the text from his mother, he hadn't slept well the entire night, and he had called his mother early the next morning to find that his mother had collapsed at work. Hunith had been extremely reluctant to spoil his son's plans, but Merlin had not listened to a word of it and caught the first bus out to Ealdor. He had called Arthur from the bus.

"But you're coming back after you have seen her, right?" Arthur asked, still sounding hopeful. Merlin hated himself for blowing out the candle.

"I would if I could, Arthur," he tried to explain. "But she's my mother, I have got to look after her before anyone else. You understand?"

There was silence for a second on the other side before Arthur replied. "I'd do exactly the same."

Merlin huffed in relief. He was worried more than he realized that Arthur would take offence.

That was the last they had spoken. Merlin dedicated the next few days into looking after his mother. There were things to fix at his home, supplies to buy, bills to pay and he tried to do all of them together, and it often left him no time to himself. Christmas day came and went, and Merlin tried his best to cheer himself up with the fact that it was the first time since he had arrived that Hunith had moved to the living room from the bedroom all by herself, and Merlin spent the day watching all the movies on TV with his mother, trying not to think about what might have been.

He spent a lot of time with his mother, mostly beside her bedside, talking about his life at university. He felt like a little boy again during these moments. His mother smiled at him when he told her about Arthur's phone calls, and he realized that she was only reflecting his own smile which had unconsciously popped up just at the thought of Arthur.

In the midst of all that, Merlin hardly got to talk to Arthur. He did try calling to wish him a good Christmas, but Arthur seemed strange and preoccupied. Merlin tried not to read too much into it, figuring that Arthur would be out partying with his mates.

It was the day before New Year's Day when there was an unexpected knock at the door, and Merlin opened the door to find Arthur standing there.

"Surprise!" he said, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Arthur!" Merlin blinked, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. "What… what…?"

Arthur chuckled. "May I come in?"

Merlin moved aside automatically, making way. "What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

Arthur shrugged. "I decided to come home for New Year's after all," he said, trying to brush away the fact. "And since you were here too, I thought I'd come say hello."

"But… but you said you wanted to party and Ealdor cannot possibly match up to London and there was no way you were coming back for the holidays—"

Arthur kept his back to Merlin, so he couldn't see his face but he heard what his friend said anyway and it made him stop in his tracks.

"Well, I decided to make an exception."

Arthur stayed all through the day at Merlin's though, following him around as he went all over the house doing chores, even sitting by his mother's bed and delighting her with tales of London as Merlin watched on with a fond smile. Even though they had been on the phone constantly with each other throughout the previous semester, this was the first time in ages that Merlin was actually spending time with Arthur, and it was strange and wonderful, and he did not want it to end. They talked about everything and nothing all through the day, and when Arthur regretfully declared that he was expected back at home for dinner, Merlin couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment that he wouldn't be spending the night.

On New Year's Eve, Arthur turned up just after lunch with his laptop bag in tow.

"Morgana's being a bitch," he said by means of greeting.

Merlin chuckled as he let him in. "Hello to you too, Arthur."

"She's miffed that Morgause couldn't come for the holidays and she has to spend it with Father, so she convinced him that New Year's should be a family affair this year, and I have to be at home for dinner again," Arthur grumbled as he sat down on the loveseat and began to set up his laptop on the coffee table.

Merlin smiled, because it made him strangely happy that Arthur would rather have spent the night with him. He was distracted again when Arthur began to boot up his laptop and connect flash drives to it.

"What are you doing?" he asked when Arthur failed to explain voluntarily.

"I wanted to show this to you before we rung in the New Year but I guess that's not happening, so it has to be done now," he said cryptically. Merlin frowned in confusion.

"Aha!" Arthur exclaimed after a couple of minutes, and then looked up to find Merlin still standing and watching him. "Well, come on," he said, impatiently waving Merlin closer until he sat down beside Arthur.

"What is it?" he asked, but Arthur only shushed him and pointed to the screen as the video player started playing. There was just static at first, and then Arthur's face filled up the screen.

"Is it recording?" on-screen Arthur was saying. "Merlin, can you seeee meeee?" he said to the camera and giggled at himself. "I'm sorry we started drinking without you so I'm a little unstable right now," he said a little more seriously, stumbling adorably away from the camera. And then he stretched his hands out suddenly and declared, "This is your New Year's party! Welcome to London!"

"Oh god, I was so drunk," the Arthur sitting beside Merlin commented, chuckling at his own screen version. Merlin could hardly move, though, frozen to the seat. Waves of affection crashed through his body, and all the words in his head got stuck in his throat.

"It's basically me and Gwaine and Percy, and I guess Leon was there for a while too, going to all the pubs we wanted to hit on New Year's Eve," Arthur went on to explain, possibly taking Merlin's silence as confusion. "The video is very poor because we were very drunk, but yeah," he finished.

The video had been going on to show snatches of what looked like an eventful night. Arthur made everyone say hi to the camera, so Merlin knew who they were, and then the boys entered what Merlin presumed was the first of several pubs. They had a continuous conversation on-going between themselves but Arthur kept turning to the camera from time to time and speaking to Merlin, small things like "That's so stupid, right?" and "Don't listen to him Merlin, that's total bullshit." Arthur pressed pause after about five minutes. He closed the program and turned to look at Merlin. "It goes on for quite a while," he said.

"Um. Are you alright?" Arthur asked when Merlin hadn't said anything for a while. Merlin wanted to say several things, 'Thank you' and 'Why me?' being the top contenders. "Why did you stop it?" he asked instead.

"Oh, because I've got to go," Arthur replied, expression turning pained. "Father is throwing this family dinner thing, didn't I tell you? I am being forced to dine with ancient uncles and aunts I didn't know were still alive or even existed in the first place. It's going to be simply horrible," he moaned, while he switched off his laptop and unhooked the flash drive. He held it up in front of Merlin.

"Here you go," he said. "You'll watch it tonight, yeah?"

"Of course," Merlin grabbed at it, almost grabbing Arthur's hand in the process. "I… thank you, so much!"

Arthur only smiled at him before getting up to leave. He paused at the door, however, and looked at Merlin for a moment before saying, "Hey, um, call me." Before Merlin could figure anything out, he had turned and left.


	5. In The End

Merlin looked at the flash drive in his hand. That was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for Merlin. He bounced around the house the rest of the day, getting dinner. Hunith sat down at the dining table that day, and they had a quiet, happy meal together.

Hunith still did not have the strength to spend the night awake, and so Merlin helped her into bed. He paused at the door of his mother's bedroom and smiled at the peaceful sight of her sleeping; looking much better than she had a week ago when he had arrived. He closed the door softly before bounding up to his room to watch Arthur's video.

It was exactly what Arthur had described it would be. Merlin had often heard about Arthur's wild all-night-parties and this was a visual reminder of what Merlin had missed. He couldn't stay disappointed for long though. Arthur's enthusiasm was infectious and Merlin soon found himself grinning at their antics as Gwaine tried to chat up a girl and got thoroughly rejected, or Percy taking a bet on how many beers mugs he could carry without spilling – seven – and Leon appeared to be asleep at some point while the other boys drew on his face while trying and failing to stop giggling.

The boys got more and more drunk, until there was a point where Arthur was very obviously unable to hold up the camera properly any longer, and they audibly decided to shut it off. All of them wished Merlin a happy new year before the camera focused only on Arthur's face, who said "Hope you like it," and winked, and the screen went dark.

Merlin sat back and sighed happily. Then he remembered Arthur asking him to call, so he turned around trying to locate his phone. He was just about to hit the call sign when he heard Arthur's voice again.

"Hey Merlin," it said, and Merlin turned, slightly alarmed, to see that the video wasn't over yet. Arthur was on the screen again, looking much cleaner and fresher than he had before. It was obviously shot on a different day.

"I just wanted to say that um, I've known you a long time, but I never really paid much attention to you in high school, which was stupid because you're brilliant," he smiled a little at that, "But you're one of my closest friends now, which is probably going to be over after this, and that is actually why I waited so long 'cause Gwaine told me to do this so long ago but I didn't want to—" he cut off abruptly, and Merlin frowned in confusion. Friendship is going to be over? Was Arthur friend-breaking up with him?

"I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?" Arthur asked. "Okay, here's the thing." He looked straight at the camera, purpose in his eyes. "I like you, Merlin, okay? Like, a lot." Merlin's eyes grew round at that. Arthur seemed to relax a bit, now that the confession was out, and continued. "You're the best person I know and you're kind and sweet, not to mention fucking smart and really funny - and were you always this bloody cute in school?" He shook his head and continued. "So, so if you feel the same way, I would like it if we were a bit more than…just…friends. Um, I'll be waiting for you to call."

The video finally came to a stop. Merlin could hardly believe what had just gone down. As soon as he could coax his body to move again, he replayed the last bit of the video, and then replayed it again just to hear Arthur say "more than just friends" again. And then the last sentence hit him, and he dug out his phone and hit the call button before he could talk himself out of it.

"Merlin, thank god," Arthur said, answering after only the first ring.

"Arthur."

"So?" Arthur asked softly, sounding strangely out of breath.

"Yeah," Merlin said, unable to formulate any other forms of speech just then.

There was a few seconds of heavy breathing from the other side before Arthur spoke. "Wait. _Yeah_, yeah?" he asked, sounding ridiculously happy. Merlin laughed at the muted whooping coming from the other side.

"Hey Merlin," Arthur said eventually, now sounding more like the Arthur he was used to. "Open your front door."

Merlin sat up. "What, now?"

"Yeah hurry up, I'm fucking freezing!"

Merlin was moving before his brain could catch up with all the surprises. He opened the front door to find Arthur shivering on his doorstep.

"God! Arthur," Merlin said into the phone he was still holding to his ear. "You could have waited till the morning you know."

"Well I couldn't wait to do this," Arthur said into his own phone before putting it down and stepping closer to press his lips to Merlin's, icy fingers touching his face. When they parted, fireworks went off in the distant sky marking the start of a new year, and Merlin had a feeling that it was going to be a good year indeed.


End file.
